Are Your Shorts Too Tight?

Are your shorts too tight?
That's just not right.
You're tugging the front and your crotch can't breathe.
Tell me please how could this be?
When you walk you chafe.
That couldn't feel safe.
Your private parts cry.
Don't say it's a lie.
Are your shorts too tight?
That's just not right.
Does your crack feel cracked,
as you try to look stacked?
Digging your shorts out of your backside.
This makes me wonder if you have pride.
Stop tugging at your shorts and buy some that fit.
If you buy the right size then you won't hurt a bit.

Gross Spider

This gross looking spider was on my back porch and when I first saw it I wanted
to kill it because it was scary looking. Then I decided I'd research the spider a
little bit to see if it would be likely to hurt me.

According to the University of Michigan Museum of Zoology website, this spider 
is called a Argiope aurantia and it is not considered dangerous to people. Since
this spider isn't a threat (unless you're a tiny bug) I will leave the little ugly thing
alone.