Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and The Tooth Fairy

Even though it's only November, I can't help but think about December. And
December has me thinking about all of the imaginary things and people that
parents often lie to their children about. I decided that I wouldn't lie to my
children about the various creations that have been passed down from gen-
eration to generation, because I'll never forget the feeling when I found out
that Santa Claus wasn't real.

I was about ten years old when my sister and I were trying to open a door.
We could normally open this door with no problem, so we pushed on it
several times until finally it opened. We saw our Barbie houses that we had
asked Santa for, but it wasn't Christmas yet, and that's how I found out Santa
wasn't real. After that, I felt a bit of sadness and confusion, so that day I de-
cided if I ever had children I wasn't going to lie to them about Santa Claus,
The Easter Bunny, or even The Tooth Fairy.

Parents don't need these pretend beings for their children. If your kids have
been good...buy them gifts...give them candy. And go ahead and pay them
for every tooth they lose if you want to. Your children will turn out just fine.

Kissing Being Banned in School

I was reading my son's school handbook, and parts of it were quite amusing.
One section mentioned that it was against school rules to have a jambox in
the bus aisle. Now do they mean a big jambox from the 1980s or a wireless
speaker? I never even thought about taking my jambox on the school bus,
but hey that's just me.

As I continued to read over the 72-page handbook, I came to across a
statement about kissing. Basically, if students are caught kissing it could
result in suspension. Can you imagine being suspended for kissing? I can't
believe kissing in school has become politically incorrect. If kissing is being
banned in school what's next hugging...shaking hands...looking someone in
the eyes?

My Friend's Dress

When I decided to get married, a friend of mine offered to lend me her
wedding dress. After the wedding, I had the dress dry cleaned, and when
I got it back it was in bad shape. It looked tattered. Some of the threads
were loose and a lot of the beads were missing. When I saw the dress all
I could do was cry. I was upset at the dry cleaner and I felt guilty, because
it wasn't my dress.

I took the dress back to the dry cleaner, and I had them repair it. Once the
repairs were made, the dress looked perfect. No one would've ever known
that the dress had been damaged. Now I was confused again. Should I tell
my friend what happened, or should I pretend that it didn't happen? I had
to tell her. I knew my guilt would remain until I was honest with her, but I
was afraid that this situation would end our friendship. When I told her
what happened (as tears ran down my face) she hugged me and said it
was OK. Being honest with her only made our friendship stronger.  

10 Reasons Not to Have a Funeral

I've been to so many funerals, I have no idea how many I've actually been
to. It all started when I was a child. Being dragged to funerals was uncom-
fortable, yet normal at the same time. When I attended a funeral I'd try not
to look at the body, but it was hard not to look. The body was always right
there, prominently displayed with the casket opened, as if it were some sort
of sick entertainment. I don't like funerals and I think they're unnecessary.

10 REASONS NOT TO HAVE A FUNERAL

1. It is expensive. Most people don't have $7,000 lying around for a
    funeral.

2. No one is going to have a good time. So you've gathered your family
    and friends around for this sad event. I'm sorry...but they're already
    wanting to leave.

3. No good can come of it. Not one funeral I've been to has improved
    my life.

4. It is a waste of time. Funerals take hours to prepare and sometimes
    hours to attend, hours and hours of extra unneeded sadness.

5. It will make you feel sadder. If we're not supposed to focus on the
    negative things in life, why must we focus more on a death than we
    have to? Looking at someone's body, seeing and hearing people cry,
    and listening to how someone used to be is all a downer.

6. You may be visually scarred for life. It's not only upsetting to see
    someone you love in box (coffin) but it's also quite disturbing.

7. It creates a negative memory. Why would someone want to create
    a negative memory? Not having a funeral gives everyone one less
    bad thing to think about. Have you ever woke up and said: "I can't
    wait to have a negative day!!!" ?

8. No one wants to go to the "afterparty". It doesn't matter how much
    food is being served after the funeral. The fun has not begun and will
    not begin.

9. The outfit you wear will remind you of the funeral. Maybe you
    already had the outfit, or maybe you had to buy something. It is now
    officially your new funeral outfit. It will be a funeral outfit forever...
    unless you figure out somewhere else you can wear it to. If you can 
    force yourself to wear it to a happy event that's great, then you can 
    associate it with a positive memory. But, chances are you will never
    wear it again, or you will save it for someone's funeral in the future.
   
10. It won't bring your loved one back. No matter how much crying,
      singing, and yelling goes on at a funeral it won't change a thing. The
      person that everyone loved is gone and they'll be gone forever.
   

Getting My Ears Vacuumed

For over seven years, I've had a problem with excessive impacted earwax.
One doctor told me that there's not much I can do about it, because it's prob-
ably genetic. But, the last doctor I went to told me I could do a mix of vine-
gar and alcohol in each ear, and rinse it out with water four to five times a
year. Before I had my ears vacuumed, I tried using an over-the-counter ear-
wax removal aid, but it didn't work. I should've known better because I'd
bought it before and it didn't work that time either.

In the past I've had doctors use curettes, scoops, and even water irrigation
to remove my earwax. Instead of going to a family doctor I decided to go
see an ENT (ear, nose and throat) doctor, because I read ENT doctors usu-
ally use a vacuum. I figured having my ears vacuumed would be quicker
and more comfortable than sticks, picks, or water.

Although only one of my ears were clogged up, the doctor vacuumed both
of them. The vacuuming only took about five minutes. It was loud, and I
only felt a slight amount of pain. In the past after having my clogged up ear
cleaned out it would always sound like someone had turned up the volume,
but this time it was different. I couldn't really tell if I could hear better or
not. I read that sometimes the loudness of the vacuum can cause temporary
hearing loss, sometimes even permanent hearing loss if the eardrum is dam-
aged. The next day, I called the doctor's office and his assistant said, "Give
it a week or so. Sometimes it takes a little while for your ear to get back to
normal." She was right; after about nine days my hearing was back to nor-
mal.

If you have excessive earwax I recommend that you go ahead and visit a
doctor, because chances are you probably won't be able to get it out your-
self. I'm going to try the vinegar/alcohol mix, and hopefully that preventa-
tive maintenance will keep my impacted earwax from coming back. Wish
me luck!